wandering mind

I haven't been paying attention in class.

In fact, I've been watching the clock tick and counting down to the time when class ends. It takes super-mega effort to focus on what is being said in class and I feel like I'm in a different dimension somewhere.

This has happened before. When it does, it just means that I can smell holiday in the air~

Hmmmmm. I'm approaching Easter + Mid-sem break with mixed feelings though. The break from sch is always welcomed. On the other hand I'm not sure I want it to come now. I know those precious 10 days will zoom pass me in the flick of the eye ("sekelip mata"), but after that, it's gonna be a sprint right towards the end of the race. No turning back.

I think I'm apprehensive not so much about the rest of the semester. It's just that... life will never be the same again... and I'm not sure I'm quite ready to bid Otago goodbye. But I guess it's human nature to be apprehensive about the unknown.

On a different matter, Greg said today that it's good to be concerned but don't let that become a worry. I think I skip the "concerned" stage altogether and dive straight into worry. And then God in His amazing grace, pull me gently back into the "concerned" phase. He even said that this can be attributed to genetics + environment! With the kinda genes passed on to me, PLUS the kinda influence I've had throughout childhood, I feel like I don't have to bear responsibility for my "straight into worry stage" nature. But I guess with God in the picture, there's no excuse remaining in that phase and not learn to start with being concerned and just remain there.

I wonder how people can tahan being on their own for so long. I always just give up and fall right back into the arms of God, whom I can completely, totally trust. I guess some people would say that I'm just weak, and I'm not learning to fend for myself. But why try to do all that on my own strength when the Lord of all Creation is just right there to support and back me up? But yea, I guess you can't trust someone you don't know. How about taking that first step to getting to know Him? I started out "trying" and just thinking that no one can force me to remain in a state/in a situation that I don't want to be in.

I've never looked back ever since.