6 months

"How's work?"

"How are u finding ur job scope?"

Friends ask this as conversation starter. Some really do care and want to know. My colleague seems to be waiting for me to get bored and restless soon... She didn't think I'd stay long.

Well, I must confess my heart and mind aren't really at work. But didn't I pray for something that'll allow me to focus on something else? I come alive after working hours (if I get enough sleep, that is). It's hard to sit still waiting for the minutes to tick by when there's not enough work to keep me busy, but I must remember I am where He has placed me. Like my colleague said, this is just a "part-time" job. We have a full-time job elsewhere, where our heart and mind truly lies.

Emmanuel

Emmanuel = God with us. 

This word has increased in the depth of its meaning for me over the years. 

it is a word worth meditating over, pondering over and keeping in your heart. 

Emmanuel. God with us. 

Double Take @ DFP

it was a totally enjoyable hour. angelic voice + amazing guitar skills.

it's like magic entering your soul and the music takes you away from everything else in your mind...

and when u leave the concert hall... u take a little bit of that magic with you.

ahhhh.... the little pleasures in life.

mac-ing

i never thought the day will come when i'll actually be using a mac. it's like - how do i know what button to press and where to find what? 

recently, there's been so many new things coming my way, sometimes I wonder if i'm still me. 

it's not that bad. if we limit ourselves to what we're used to at a young age, then life'd be pretty boring eh? 

if we're looking for adventures, for exciting journeys, then i'd say - get onboard His plan! not sure where to start? on our knees. 

"and I stand, I stand, in awe of You"

the biggest theme this year, is perhaps, how God's grace and mercy have so enveloped me that I stand in awe, speechless, astounded when I reflect on the journey in the past year. In fact, things have turned around in less than a year - waaaaay faster than I had expected.

something said today made me wonder, perhaps He did try to work on me once I touched down on homeground. I just wasn't ready. apparently my body language was all "back off" and "give me time".

and perhaps for that, I had to take the longer route - few months through the desert dry land.

few months is but a little detour. that His hands would lift me up again, turn me around in less than a year - speaks of the depth of His mercy, the richness of His grace.

I am led to think, that perhaps, all along He is extending His outstretched arm to us - it's just how long will we take to finally realize that it's no point writhing with pain in our own sorrow and misery?

a crown of beauty
instead of ashes,
the oil of gladness

instead of mourning,

a garment of praise,

instead of a spirit of despair.

(Isaiah 61)

what's in a name?

思 - think of; long for; miss

亲 - parent

I've always thought my dad was thinking of, missing his parents when I was born and hence he gave me my name. Never mind that my last name has the same sound as the Chinese negation.

Then I found out yesterday that actually, dad obtained my name from the Chinese saying:

“独在异乡为异客，每逢佳节倍思亲“

"All alone in a foreign land, I am twice as homesick on a festive occasion"

yea, I know. What's in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. But as I pondered over it, I can't help but wonder...

perhaps unbeknownst to dad, he has already "released" me - to the ends of the earth. The only condition, is that I'll remember him and mum.

digging deeper

He took a big spade and dug deeper and revealed silly unfounded fears that weren't supposed to be there.

Or maybe I just haven't noticed them.

it's unnerving. but it's stuff that needs to be dealt with.

Father, have mercy on me.