Isaiah 41:13 (NKJV)

For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, saying to you, "Fear not, I will help you."

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

O The Wonderful Cross

Just read an article - "Share Christ's Sufferings". Reminded me of the time in Japan when we were pondering over the verse Col 1:24. Not just"we" in Japan, but also you, in country Z.

Col 1:24

"Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church."

"It's a cross, not a magic wand."


Love is not heart-shaped, but cross-shaped.


O the Wonderful Cross...

Bids me Come.

and Die.

and Find.

that I.

may Truly Live.

Am I truly living?

Have I even begun to truly live?

new buddy!!!

My new buddy at work came yesterday when I wasn't in the office. It was nice to have him there, sitting smartly on my desk, beckoning me to start work. His name came when I saw him: Sam. Sleek, elegant, efficient and inviting.

Hehe, this probably sounds silly but yea... I have a new comp @ work, and I'm calling him Sam. Yes, it's a "him". It's funny to think that I'd rather stay on and work, though my boss had told me to go to the doc's (for the MC) and home (for the rest).

Well well... wouldn't do to leave my new buddy alone eh? Gotta spend some quality time with him.

Ahhh... little perks at work.

Thursday, March 25, 2010


是的,与神同步起走唯有越走越精彩。 眼虽看不见,头脑虽摸不着,但信心的双眼直盯在十架上,盼望从基督中索取。


Monday, March 22, 2010

It's a hymn!

Begone, unbelief; my Savior is near,
and for my relief will surely appear;
by prayer let me wrestle, and he will perform;
with Christ in the vessel, I smile at the storm.

Though dark be my way, since he is my guide,
'tis mine to obey, 'tis his to provide;
though cisterns be broken and creatures all fail,
the word he has spoken shall surely prevail.

His love in time past forbids me to think
he'll leave me at last in trouble to sink;
while each Ebenezer I have in review
confirms his good pleasure to help me quite through.

Why should I complain of want or distress,
temptation or pain? He told me no less;
the heirs of salvation, I know from his word,
through much tribulation must follow their Lord.

How bitter that cup, no heart can conceive,
which he drank right up that sinners might live;
his way was much rougher and darker than mine;
did Jesus thus suffer, and shall I repine?

Since all that I meet shall work for my good,
the bitter is sweet, the med'cine is food;
though painful at present, 'twill cease before long;
and then, O how pleasant the conqueror's song!


Sunday, March 21, 2010

Divine Guide

Begone unbelief, my Savior is near,
And for my relief will surely appear;
By prayer let me wrestle and He will perform;
With Christ in the vessel, I smile at the storm.

Though dark be my way, since He is my guide
'Tis mine to obey, 'tis His to provide;
Though cisterns be broken and creatures all fail,
The word He hath spoken shall surely prevail.

~John Newton

Monday, March 08, 2010

School of Pain

Many times, I've eyed my Lord through my tears from the corner of my eye, wondering if He really knew how I felt. yea... sure, He knows pain, but what about the kind of pain I'm having?

His pain sounds noble.

Mine? I probably deserve it, such a wretched fallen sinner.

Then he said to them, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me."
-Matthew 26:38

During the days of Jesus' life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission.
-Hebrews 5:7

Loud cries and tears. From the deep recesses of his heart. He was heard. But was he spared the cross?

"Not my will but Yours be done"

"I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death"
-Philippians 3:10

"Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church."
-Colossians 1:24

I'm not doing exegesis here, pardon me if I'm out of context. But now, I'm slowly learning - that instead of asking:

"Does He understand my pain?"

I ask - "Have I understood His?"

Thursday, March 04, 2010

it's just a passing phase

as suddenly as it came, it left.

so I'm ok again, things are ok - and I'll brace myself for the next wave.

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

God has funny ideas...

So you're allowing Him freedom to write His Story with your life, the way He would have it, as much as your sinful wretched self could hand over control to Him. It's quite an exciting journey really, chapter by chapter, you learn to trust Him more, you learn to let go and allow Him more control. Until you realize that, hey! that pencil you're holding together with Him has two sharpened ends! and even as you continue to allow Him to write this story, the other sharpened end facing you seems to be jabbing hard at you and it so pierces your heart.

Sorry. Didn't mean to make Him out as a sadistic maniac. No, no... He's the loving Father, whose love never fails. It's when we're so selfishly focused on our own pains and hurts that we forget who He really is. After all, we need someone to throw our anger at. So there goes. Yet, He's the meek and gentle Lamb, who never answers back, who takes every insult hurled at Him, and looks back at us with eyes filled with love.

"I'm lost in wonder,
lost in love,
lost in praise forevermore.
Because of Jesus' unfailing love,
I'm forgiven,
I am restored."

I need restoration. And I need to lose myself in wonder, in love and in praise for Him once more.

So I hit the Wall a while ago. And in the process of thinking, it came to realization that it's when things are the toughest, when you go through fire and storm with someone that relationship is built and refined. So if He wouldn't speak when things are ok, or maybe I just wasn't listening, or receptive enough to hear Him, then let me ask for trouble, let me ask for more pain, let me ask for difficult times. Just so that I am close to Him once again. Was it Lewis that said pain is God's loudspeaker?

And guess what? He doesn't tarry to answer those sort of prayers.

Yea, God seems to have funny ideas. I don't understand His ways - fair enough, His ways and thoughts are way higher than mine. Years of being on my own has taught me a lot about the self's defense mechanism. It's up on high alert mode now. One's gotta fend for oneself, no? So you put up a fight, until you realize that the One you're fighting against is the One you can trust. But it's not so easy to let go, so maybe I'll keep fighting until I'm too tired to keep up. Better be sooner than later.

Sigh. For you who think I have too many good stories to tell, this is a glimpse of what it's like before the best parts come around, those parts you get to hear. I'm no saint, the road ain't easy, but the victory is sure. As long as we allow Him to work...