Thursday, March 26, 2009
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Tonight, I find myself wishing tomorrow wouldn't come so soon. I'm not sure I know how to face tomorrow yet.
Monday, March 23, 2009
We all want progress. But progress means getting nearer to the place where you want to be. And if you have taken the wrong turning, then to go forward does not get you any nearer. If you are on the wrong road, progress means doing an about-turn and walking back to the right road; and in that case the man who turns back soonest is the most progressive man. We have all seen this when doing arithmetic. When I have started a sum the wrong way, the sooner I admit this and go back and start again, the faster I shall get on. There is nothing progressive about being pig headed and refusing to admit a mistake. ... Going back is the quickest way on.- C. S. Lewis, "Mere Christianity"I stole the above from Blue Forest Soapbox. It's something I'd like to read again and again and let it sink in. Perhaps this is something I'd really like to hear at the moment. That's the problem with human heart - most of us have selective hearing if we'll admit it. The reason why we need a stone to sharpen another stone.
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Recently, I thought about that song. I knew I must have written the name down somewhere. Thankfully, I did. And with youtube and high-speed internet these days, searching for something ain't that hard anymore.
Poliushko Polie by Andre Rieu on his "La vie est belle" world tour.
Listening to this song again transported me back to Takayama. I miss it. It's the almost perfect place for a retreat - where you can clear your mind and breathe properly again. And while this seemingly perfect moment last, it's easier to affirm that "oui, la vie est belle".
I think I've come to a point where I don't want to think about anything anymore. Just drop it. Forget everything.
I wish I can go on a retreat. Just hide from this world for a little while and recuperate. Go ahead and spin on without me for a while, I'm sure nothing will change very much.
Only one thing is needed.
I need to realign my perspectives and wait upon the Lord. Easier said than done. I think I need help.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
I suppose when one is in pain, it feels like it's never-ending and there doesn't seem to be any light at all at the end of the tunnel.
In church this morning, momentary excruciating pain wrenched my heart. Perhaps the depth of such sorrow is a thing of the past, whatever struck me was more like an aftertaste. A lingering memory. In an almost unfathomable way, came the memories of exuberant joy. The sort that lifts your spirit up to soar on eagle's wing.
At the heart of this mysterious paradox lies the cross. Excruciating pain on the road to Calvary. Exuberant joy on His resurrection.
I lay them down before you, O Lord
All my regrets, all my acclaims
The joy and the pain, I'm making them Yours
Lord, I offer my life to You
Everything I've been through
Use it for your Glory
Lord I offer my days to You
Lifting my praise to You as a pleasing sacrifice
Lord I offer you my life
Things in the past, things yet unseen
Wishes and dreams that are yet to come true
All of my hopes, all of my plans
My heart and my hands are lifted to you
What can we give that You have not given
What do we have that is not already yours
All we possess are these lives we're living
And that's what we give to you Lord
"I Offer My Life"
I felt so Malaysian.
On the way home, my aunt told me I must definitely climb Mount KK someday. Perhaps. After all, I've conquered Mount Iwaki.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
To my dismay, I caught myself displaying the same mannerisms from someone that had annoyed me. I better watch it, infection often catches one unaware.
on another note, after asking and finding out that I don't really know what I'm doing/what I want to do, someone said to me today :
"You must follow your heart."
"But ain't the heart deceptive?"
"Your mind is deceptive, but your heart isn't."
ok. granted that the argument can go both ways, I can tell where he got his rationale from. Didn't God handcraft each and every one of us individually after all, with all our passions and desires? And when properly channeled, we offer back whatever we have to give Him all glory and praise?
ok. so the next step is...
where can I find my misplaced heart?
Monday, March 09, 2009
Thursday, March 05, 2009
I just read somewhere recently that "nothing happens without intentionality". I think I've certain desires which give good intentions - but I need to take one step further and make sure those intentions translate into actions.
Let's hope 3 months down the road I can look back and say - things are changing. For the better. After all, Spring is coming.
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
Sunday, March 01, 2009
...and then we will pull each other up and continue our pilgrimage on this journey.
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."
-2 Corinthians 1:3-4