in transition

As I took new international students ard town and campus these couple of days, I realised I've forgotten what it's like to be in a totally foreign place, not knowing anyone. Then it dawned upon me that I'm gonna be in that situation in less than 3 mths' time, and my stomach churned. The unfamiliarity, the differences, and not knowing much abt the way things are in the new environment... I'm not sure I'm ready for all that. I'm amazed at how Dunedin has grown on me without me realizing it. I couldn't imagine spending more than a year in Dunedin when I first arrived. 3.5 yrs later, this chilly, small student city has become my comfort zone. No doubt staying here can still potentially stretch me quite a bit, but seems like God is wanting to stretch me exponentially.

transition. I have an idea that life is never gonna be the same again, but I don't think I have begun to grasp the magnitude of how it's gonna change. 2 mths ain't very long. Time to wrap up and move forward.

I guess part of the reluctance to leave one's comfort zone is not knowing where one's headed to. Uncertainty causes anxiety. When God called Abraham to go, He didn't give him a destination. God's call was to God himself. It's not abt where he's headed to, it's abt following the One that has called, trusting that He will lead and guide ("Student power in world missions" by David M. Howard).

Nick said to me during conference that I need to repent of my idolatry of thinking that I'm holding it all together. I was slightly stunned. It's a rather subtle idolatry, but now that he's mentioned it, I recognize it. I can't hold it all together, only God can. I won't pretend I'm holding it all together, though often times I seem to be trying to. My feeble attempts could hardly hold anything together if God is not largely supporting me.

the longer i walked in this journey, the more i recognize this is not meant to be a solo journey. Even though i may be heading off alone physically, the importance of partnership in prayers can't be emphasized enough.

walk with me?