response @ 3am: spiritual passion - inside out

d sermon Ps. Alex (ACTS church) gave on "Spiritual Passion - from the inside out" really hit right on every nail that I have. not just hit right, but each was hit hard. can't rmb the last time every single thing a pastor said was so directed to me. I can see clearly how God has been trying to reach me, just that I've built up a filter system and was just filtering Him off. Ps Alex's sermon was like a big quilt where He fitted all the bits and pieces other ppl ard me have been giving me (indeed there wasn't anything I haven't heard before, just din let them convict me)... and they fitted nicely in Ps Alex's sermon.

Your passion has to be a long term, a sustaining one that can go on for the long-haul. It's a passion that comes from the inside out, not from the outside in. On Sun, Bob said, passion is the foundation of every vision. No wonder I lost the vision. Very early on too.

I identified with the lost soul tt's trying to catch up with wat my body's been doing faithfully, yet passionlessly.

Let's your passion be coupled with purpose! Let it be with substance!

Psalm 131:2 - the picture of REST, of CONTENTMENT, of STILLNESS before the Lord...

v3 goes on to say "hope in the Lord, this time forth and FOREVERMORE"

Don't add God into your equation of everyday life. He's the CENTER of it ALL! He is the REASON, the SOURCE of my everything! I need to depend on Him, and He is my contentment.

"When you find ME, you find joy, you find rest, you find salvation, you find strength! from the INSIDE OUT!"

Know God frm the Inside out, depend on God for rest, for contentment, and u'll be at peace!

those sense of rushes, from one busyness to the next, the isolation ("leave me alone"), tt sense of restlessness (frm street cleaning to hot choc to cleaning up to prayer bus launch)... SLOW DOWN! we need to discover our brakes in life! slow down INTENTIONALLY!

Jeremiah 2:13 - some ppl (like me) have taken for themselves cisterns that cannot hold water. v18 booms at me "WHY go ALL over the place when you can come back and draw water from God, the living spring?"

Passion-threatening conditions:

• hangovers! --- depressed, isolation, totally drained out --- Elijah ran into the cave (sounds familiar) and he wanted to die! (I din dare blog it out, but when things weren't going right, and oh, how minor things get magnified! i sulked and told God, yea, let everything come and then all these will kill me and all will be good")
• driving around with empty fuel tanks and ur car just run out of fuel! y do we allow ourselves to run on empty tanks?
• distorted conditions --- stop taking up things that u're not supposed to! --- God wants to do something deep in our lives! He wants to take us on for the long haul! take care of your inner life that makes the difference!
• devastated condition --- when ppl leave you/when ppl say things tt hurt u --- perhaps tt's y i get hurt so easily these days?

HOW? WHAT NOW?

1. ACKNOWLEDGE your soul fatigue! Just tell God and admit tt you're tired and then DEAL with it! Ugh. Time to put down my pride. It's embarrassing to admit tt I don't even last for 1 semester. It's embarrassing to admit that even after the hols, I'm still not OK. but tt's pretty evident anyway ain't it? who am i kidding?
2. Prepare against passion-threatening conditions: no matter wat, GUARD that SPACE with the LORD, GET INTO that space with the Lord. you NEED it!
3. Mentor your inner life: allow God to water the garden of your inner life! your passion must carry on for the lifetime. not just for today, for tomorrow, for the week, for the year...

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God"

• it's not about giving tt slot of time every morning to God and that's it for the rest of the day (indeed He knows everything I do)
• put Him at the CENTER of your day! at the CENTER of your EVERYTHING!
• "... and all these things shall be added unto you"

i thank Him for the ppl He has placed in this stretch of narrow road that I'm on... the ppl that has given me those pieces of quilt, and finally, He arranged for a sermon from KL to the reach the ears of the stubborn one in the wops wops of New Zealand, and put all those pieces together to make one big quilt...

I will sing praises unto my God and King, all the days of my life! He has not forgotten me, and has not left me to die... Blessed be His holy Name!