just gotta learn

out of 3 clashes, i chose to attend a lecture that wasn't of any papers tt i'm taking...

it's supposed to be helpful for my assignment...

something abt managerial management (i know it sounds weird, but i can't rmb wat it was actually abt).

initially i thought it was a waste of time and i wondered if i made the right decision in choosing to attend this lecture. i thought my time could have been put to better use if i had went to my own lectures instead... but then again i was also secretly pleased tt i din have to sit in my ling lect for 2 hrs...

how is the lecture content useful to my assignment, i'm not sure. but i did learn some stuff abt myself...

abt how i'm lousy at handling stress and busyness...

the business world (it's a business management lecturer) is such a busy busy busy world. it gave me the kinda feeling that once i step out into the world and get my hands wet at working, it's just gonna go on n on n on and it's not gonna stop. unless i find someone to marry now and then i might possibly be able to just sit at home and take care of the kids. nah. unlikely.

so wat's the difference between the non-stop-until-u-learn-to-prioritise-and-say-no-graciously in the working world, and the same non-stop-until-u-learn-to-prioritise-and-say-no-graciously student life + ministry? dare i even add ministry to the earlier formula? by His grace I pray that I will.

the thing is, it's gonna be like tt no matter where i go, wat i do. i can't live in my days of holidaying-in-KL, travelling ard the world all-is-awesome life, all the time all my life. the reality is, there's always so much to do it's not gonna stop. the earth is not gonna stop spinning just because I'm tired or just not up to it. i gotta learn to say no now to be able to say it better in future. i gotta learn to handle the stress now to stand longer in future. i gotta learn to manage my time better and prioritise properly now to save myself from the vicious cycle of burning out every so often.

yet, not by my own strength nor wisdom nor anything tt comes from me (how can anything good come from me?) but may the Spirit of God lead me in His ways, that I might pursue life in abundance in the fullness of Christ.