突然に。。。

。。。日本語の勉強に戻りたい。日本語で話したい。日本で会った友達からメッセージを読んで、本当に懐かしいなあああ。。。

Looking for distractions?

”ただいま！”

I'm home! =)

It's been a long long while since it felt so good to be "home". Not a mere initial-phase kinda excitement bubble that bursts when reality sets in, but a deeper sense of joy - even when the reality cards are out on display.

The saying goes: "Home is where the heart is". I'm not sure if I've quite found my heart yet, but it's been handed over to the Healer, to the One who makes me whole. Home isn't really about a geographical location, nor a familiar structure one grew up in. I might even go as far as to say (and risk criticism) - perhaps it's not the people either. Home is... being where He wants me to be, doing what He wants me to do. But wait... perhaps my heart has taken a step ahead of me and found its resting place in its Maker.

I'm home! =)

What's in a name?

Walking down the coffee aisle on my first trip to Tesco Malaysia, it was pretty amusing to find this particular brand of coffee I've never seen or heard before.

The name?

"Kanasai Cafe Slim".

I can understand if this particular brand of coffee came from Japan, but no, it's from Malaysia.

hmmmmm... I'm not sure I wanna have Kanasai coffee.

U-turn

"The U-turn will surely come, it's just whether we hang around or cling on long enough until it does."

I said that tonight.

On one hand, it's a U-turn for which we wait, not knowing how else to make it happen by our own wisdom or ability - one that we need an external agent to turn us around. But on the other, it's a choice we make. Perhaps, in many cases, it is first a CHOICE we make, and then the external agent gets re:ACT1v8d to usher us into the full U-turn proper.

Do you need to make a U-turn today?

the Wall

I feel like I've been facing this Wall for a while. It's not an intimidating Wall at all, in fact, it's a nice sturdy, even dependable, trustworthy Wall. Sounds good eh? But... it's still a Wall. I think I've been trying to remove this Wall... but after a while, I'm beginning to wonder, perhaps this Wall is meant to be here. Whether I like it or not, whether I kick, scream or cry, it's here to stay, so might as well get used to it and move with it rather than trying to tear it down. After all, life needs to go on. No more trying to march around the Wall 7 times. Just keep walking with it and perhaps, someday, the Wall will just talk to me.

who understands the heart of a father?

No one, except the Father Himself.

and only the Father Himself understands that searing pain I've just seen.

I didn't do very well today. Just when I thought things are heading uphill and ppl are telling me that some things have changed, in me...

Not that that ain't true. In fact, it IS true - and it is only through trials and challenges that those changes get tested, refined, and strengthened.

So what if I didn't fight my battles very well today? So what if I feel kinda bla now? I will still choose to go to bed and end the day praising Him.

I still don't have many answers. I don't have any answers in fact. I still don't know what to do. I am tempted to give in and crumble - but that, is learned behavior. Instead, I will rise, because He has called my name. I will rise on eagle's wings:

There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes

Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead

And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise

And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"

"I Will Rise" - Chris Tomlin

As someone puts it, I'm no longer a Kancil. I'm a Humvee. just found out that's short for High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle.

Tomorrow is another day. I'll do better tomorrow. In Him, I will.

2010!!!

*close eyes*

*breathe in*

*pause*

*smiles*

Favourite drink of the year: Barley.