the sun is shining once again!

after 2 whole days of rain, rain and more rain, the rays of joy, hope and delight that the sun brought as it warmed up the land of Dunedin is greater than ever before! =) =) =)

after every storm is a rainbow...

after every trial we grow stronger...

after every down, we appreciate the ups to fuller measures!

"And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast."
-1 Peter 5:10

identity crisis?

Citizenship defines the place one calls home for life, where one rests one’s weary head after having travelled the globe. It gives one identity. It is the place to live out one’s twilight years. Ideally, it is “the best place on earth.”

-Suhaini Aznam in "Privilege called Citizenship", The Star Online 23 July 2007

The idea of ever giving up my Malaysian citizenship was unimaginable. While never truly patriotic in a sense that I never felt very "significant" in my home country, never really felt the noble call to "come back and serve my country", I've been quite attached to Malaysia and can't imagine my family emigrating elsewhere (though i suspect they would very much like to). I rmb when my Malaysian friends studying in Dunedin talk of going "home", as in Auckland, because that's where their parents are, I shuddered at the thought of having to "settle down" at a place where it's not really "home".

In Jap class today, we started a new chapter with introductory discussions on our identity, who we are, with a focus on people with parents of different nationalities. It's interesting how even if someone's been in NZ for years and years, they remain steadfast in holding on to their original nationality. even with the Kiwi passport.

suddenly there's a lot of such themes going ard me. Or perhaps I was just oblivious to it before. But I'm thankful that while I may seem to be confronted (and perhaps a little confused?) about the whole "who am i?", identity searching issue (many times I just push it all aside with a "does it matter?"), I can firmly proclaim that I am a child of God and ultimately, my citizenship is in Heaven.

what's next?

it got kinda gruelling halfway through the supposedly casual, relaxed chat. it wasn't until the last 30 mins of those 8 hrs that it dawned upon me that there's something more to it than a "casual, relaxed chat". yes, many ppl can attest to me being "slow in the mind", missing most hints and subtlety. i wasn't sure how to respond. partly cos i didn't expect the subtle appeal that surfaced, but perhaps more because one doesn't make such decisions there and then. unprayed for, at the spur of the moment decisions are more likely to become empty promises.

the junction of the crossroad is fast approaching. with so many different things coming from different ppl, the need to just be still and wait upon Him becomes essential. there are needs to be met everywhere, but where and what specifically has He been moulding and shaping me for?

once again i feel like i've been asked to hand over the canvas, and to let Him add on the next few strokes in His big picture, His masterpiece...

Saturdays~

i had an absolutely enjoyable Saturday~ =)

i rmb times when Saturdays were packed with activities, from half day band prac in primary sch to full day band prac in high sch, to feeling quite lost when I got to college cos i haven't learnt how to pass my Saturdays without band pracs...

i just realised how a big part of me was missing without all those band prac. i never really knew wat to do with my Saturdays anymore. but then again, at just about the same time this big part of me left, something else cropped up and gradually became an even bigger part of me...

but that doesn't mean I know how to spend my Saturdays wisely. Coming to Uni, i've filled it with work. all sorts of work.

although i miss being on the roster, i am thankful for the quality Saturdays I've been having. *smiles* tonight was really awesome. the company, the ambience, the bunny. i've never held a bunny in my arms for so long before. am so tempted to make Simba my pillow... it wasn't just the night that i enjoyed. it was good to sleep in, to relax and read, falling back to sleep as and when i like, and i even enjoyed studying!

"A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?"
-Ecclesiastes 2:24-25

thank you Lord for the simple pleasures in life!

reflections on a Friday night

The Lord had said to Abram,

"Leave your country, your people and your father's household and go to the land I will show you."

-Genesis 12:1

Although the verses that followed received more attention tonight, my mind couldn't get past this first verse in chapter 12 of Genesis.

I suspect God has been working quite intensely in me, unbeknownst to my awareness. I wonder if despite all the "NO"s my mind's saying, deep down it's already a "yes". Perhaps I just need time to warm up to the idea.

Ah well. So be it.

"I am the Lord's servant,"

"May it be to me as you have said."

(Luke 1:38)

Let Him open doors.

"The heart of God is missions. The heart of the Church is missions."

"When you love someone, you love what that someone loves."

yea, i've seen how so many people have changed, and different people kinda converge after a while in interest, even in behaviour and personality. Such is the power of love.

Are you excited about what your God is passionate about?

神にねつあいしているのはどんなかんかくかしら。

one month from today~

=) =) =)

i love how God works in ways immeasurably more than what I ask for or can imagine. admittedly I was quite disorganized for tonight. suddenly there's so many things competing for attention and i found it hard to coordinate different people sharing and trying to make a link. But i guess the conductor baton's in His hands =)

it was tempting to talk abt everything and share everything. there's so much abt Taiwan I could talk about. but i realised that it's not about how much I can go on blabbering about. No point if ppl ain't receiving. it was cool to keep it short and sweet, and to allow heaps of time for after-meeting chat. i wish there's a warm place with good coffee/tea/hoc choc and munchies, comfy armchairs where we can just hang out and chat. but i suspect it may well go on til the wee hours in the morning.

one more month.

i am tempted to flag all my classes. sabbath month. how's that? =)

really praying to make all the connections possible. when i leave, there won't be a hole anywhere, but well linked connections. as they say, the story goes on...

unspeakable joy

it was oozing out of me. just couldn't contain myself. i think i was grinning like a silly person. doesn't happen very often, but when it does, it makes u wish it'll last forever, u wanna dance and sing, and u know (well, kinda) that something has struck a chord in your heart.

too much sun in Dunedin perhaps? I'm not complaining =) *big grin*