after today's class, it kinda felt like an anti-climax of a climax i never really had. well, i was too zombified. there was a test this morning which i didn't start studying for until almost 11pm last night. Not that I was busy running around doing stuff, i was just chilling out with friends. Not just any chilling friends (errr?), but I had good quality time with my dear friend from HK who's only gonna be here for her graduation. It was really good to walk down the streets of Dunedin and around campus again with her. I really thank God for the wonderful times we've had last year, she being my big encouragement and support, taking my "shit" when she doesn't have to. I know it'll never be the same again but I thank Him for that little short interweaved path we're allowed to have. I've been learning how to let go and move on since i was young... leaving my nanny as a 7 year old kid (yea, i stuck to her like anything!); that particular farewell etched deep in my heart when i was 16 at the basement of a church in a tiny island somewhere... I think that struck so hard I was quite reluctant to really allow people to come in anymore. for a while. in less than 4 months, i found myself saying good bye to another dear new friend. and yes, things are never the same as before. But i guess if you dun move on, u'll start taking ppl for granted? I came to the conclusion that it's nice to have "quantity friends" but you need to have your quality friends too. and who cares if we part ways shortly after? it makes the short path journeyed together all the more sweeter. it's a worthwhile investment of time and emotions, but of course, watch who u get close to. Life is not all smooth sailing and while your parents try to protect you from the ppl that can hurt you, you're quite on your own feet in the world, especially when you venture out naive and stubborn. but thank God for friends that'll watch your back, and then you realise your parents are right after all, yes, they do have a lot of wisdom and they're not just wanting to be party spoilers... ;p most of all, thank God for friends that'll welcome you back and stick with you through thick and thin, friends that are really your brothers and sisters...
OK. i have no idea how i digressed so far. i meant to talk abt how i ended up staying up til 4am, trying to study but not really knowing whether i'm studying. hehehehe. hence, the zombified me. i think for the past few days, i have some sort of a resistance to go to bed. wat?! this coming from me who loves to snooze? going to bed means ending the day and i wonder if i've lived each day to the fullest. perhaps there's something more i could do to make it even fuller? what i don't realise is that i'm tapping into my next day and when i don't get anything done while trying to find something to do, i end up not having enough beauty sleep. and the vicious cycle continues. i should change the title of my blog or something. then i won't be so conscious about stretching each day to the fullest. but then again, i think i probably need to evaluate how i spend my time during the day. it's only when night falls that i find "oh no! the day's coming to an end!" and i try to errr... live more? hehehehe...
oh. How did i get into that? I was wanting to talk about how I left my studying to the last minute in the hope that the adrenaline that comes from panicking will inspire me. It worked before. but not this time. there was no adrenaline surges, no nothing. until after the test, my adrenaline still wasn't increased. maybe i should get my adrenal glands checked out. oh, btw, i think adrenaline flows better on your tongue than epinephrine. yea, tt's a linguistic preference.
so i headed home, half-hoping that i can head out to do something wild for once. paint the town red maybe? but it's getting real cold and i don't know where to buy red paint. i sat at my desk, and reached out for my maroon leather bound, button flapped, all time bestseller...
from nowhere (by that i meant it wasn't from any passages i read), i was challenged about the "listening" aspect of this "2 way communication" thing I have with my Father in Heaven. In the flow of daily stuff, i have neglected the important aspect of this 2 way communication. What a monologuer i've been! Sitting still in His presence, even for a short 10-15 minutes, is quality time eh. what's that 10-15 minutes from the 1440 minutes He's given you in a day?
Have you given God the opportunity to speak to you TODAY?
I've also neglected "the art of losing myself, in giving You praise...". When was the last time i really allowed my heart to cry out to Him, from the inside out?
"And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out"
I really like this song eh...
"A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame"Free your spirit to connect with your God, your Father in Heaven, and drink deeply from the springs of living waters.
"Never again will they hunger;
never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat upon them,
nor any scorching heat.
For the Lamb Who is in the midst of the throne will be their Shepherd,
and He will guide them to the springs of the waters of life;
and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes..."
- Revelation 7:16-17
never again will they thirst.
The sun will not beat upon them,
nor any scorching heat.
For the Lamb Who is in the midst of the throne will be their Shepherd,
and He will guide them to the springs of the waters of life;
and God will wipe away every tear from their eyes..."
- Revelation 7:16-17
btw, special thanks to the angel that cooked me dinner last night... ;p
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