I remember...

vaguely... just so vaguely...

that excitement... that stirring of the heart...

... of how I look forward to going to sleep at night... secretly desiring that I will meet with my Lord in my dreams...

and how...

... I wake up in the morning, fresh and eager for precious moments with my Lord, wondering what He has to say to me today?

those times didn't last very long. It is, after all, a relationship.

the "i can't wait to worship Him" feeling as I looked forward to each service...

and how it never seemed enough.

Then, it got busier. and busier. and busier. wait a minute. maybe it's not the busyness. it's...

I don't know what it is. Perhaps it's just normal that you're not on cloud 9 all the time. That's when the faithfulness part comes in. Every relationship requires that bit. So all that tingly feeling is not there anymore, and the bears come in and the lion roars. Or it could be just moodiness that sneaks in from behind you and u feel like you're in a rut.

But. You have a choice don't you? Given the circumstances, you can still choose to praise the Lord, or, to let circumstances sink you in and swallow you up.

Depression, quite always, has unknown causes...

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life. " -Proverbs 13:12

My experience tells me that moodiness, lethargy, too, quite always have unknown causes... Other than the PMS moments...

Before I know it, I find myself in a rut. It may be a shallow rut, it can be quite a deep rut, one so deep u know not how to get out of it. And u just sit there not knowing what to do. You long for the Lord to get you out, yet you stare at the Bible sitting on the desk, but somehow, you just can't summon enough willpower to pick it up. Or maybe you did, you picked it up and opened it, but... you don't know where to read. You looked at a few random verses and then got frustrated cos it didn't seem like it's helping and chuck the Bible aside...

Kerryn said in last night's message, that the most important and number ONE weapon that God has given us to conquer this, is our garment of praise, that we can choose to put on:

"to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair." -Isaiah 61:3

The Amplified version:

"to give them an ornament (a garland or diadem) of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, the garment [expressive] of praise instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit."

the garment of PRAISE instead of a heavy, burdened, and failing spirit!

Every relationship has its ups n downs. Whether you soar to the highest mountain peak, or plunge into the deepest darkest valley, or be it just on the flat plateau, you choose your response. No matter what your circumstances are, will you not choose to Praise Him for who He is?

"But those who wait for the Lord [who expect, look for, and hope in Him] shall change and renew their strength and power; they shall lift their wings and mount up [close to God] as eagles [mount up to the sun]; they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint or become tired." -Isaiah 40:31 (Amplified Bible)

God made you. He made you to have a relationship with Him. He knows you from the inside out. He wants you to desire after Him... but that choice to come to Him, is your free will.

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart..." -Jeremiah 1:5

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

Do you not believe in His plans for you? Will you not surrender your life to Him, and let Him fulfill His purposes of His glorious kingdom? Wherever you are, He's wanting you to go back to Him...

"Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you," declares the LORD, "and will bring you back from captivity." -Jeremiah 29:12-14

Release yourself from the bondage that so easily entangles. Let Him walk you through your deepest, darkest valleys... and watch out for the plateau, where it's easy to drift away...

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." -Proverbs 4:23