i was really more into the "an opportunity to talk to others abt Christianity" than anything else. wat a good opportunity to engage ppl! the numbers that came is in itself a good indication. after a round of running around to get things organised, i half wanted to walk out of the cinema after i had everyone shoo-ed into the cinema.
i took the first row seat. my view was quite narrow and i could pretty much just focus on wat's right in front of my eyes. so u can imagine the movie wouldn't be too enjoyable in that sense. plus all the "it's only ok la", "not that good", "below expectations" etc comments prior to the movie. plus, i'm tired. perhaps i should watch it again, when i'm in the mood for a movie, and when i can get better seats at the back. hmmmmm. nah~ spare me.
just abt 10 minutes into the movie, there was a scene of Silas doing something quite gruesome. not sure if "gruesome" 's the right word but it wasn't sthing i felt up to and i just shut my eyes. this reminded me of some gruesome scenes on TV i watched when i was real young and it involved the reenactment of the crucifixion, by heaps of ppl. that stayed with me for ages. and there was a fiction i read that pretty much did wat Dan Brown did. twisted a whole lot of stuff abt Christianity and Catholicism. those stuff were etched in my memory for a long long time. i must admit that they did put me off Christianity before i came to Christ. For ppl like me, we don't question too much. we swallow everything ppl feed us with. call us naive, or gullible even but we can't pretend there aren't many ppl out there that works tt way. and what do we do? do we remain passive and just let them be gullible?
during that scene, i suddenly wondered if organising this dvc movie thing was the right thing to do. was that what God really wanted? and i started questioning "God, what are YOU doing?" and "God, what haf I done?" and i started praying for everyone in the cinema. i'm scared. of the "side-effects". you'd probably think that ppl are old enough to think for themselves and we do have the pre-dvc movie series of talks etc. BUT. we can't deny the power of the visual to affect someone way more than words. i know how deeply affected i was by wat i've seen and read. but then again, i am probably one of those more "easily affected", emotional beings.
so. wat's next? i've got the follow-up survey forms out. none has come in yet. i hope they will. other than that, there's nothing much i can do, can i? yet, i'm being challenged if this is it. like "that's all?"... "that's it?" ok, so maybe it's not. then wat's next? need to go back to God and seek His ways again. sigh. I wasn't even sure if that's wat i'm ready to do. don't forget abt the last meeting, the all night prayers, CCG's Jesus week... the assignments n tests, and exams too
God, I need You to sustain me. I need You to show me Your ways and guide me through the remaining weeks of this sem. Instead of wishing there's a fast-forward button, perhaps it's time for me to learn perseverance and how to hang in there, not just hanging anyhow, but to hang in there well.
pray for me~ that I'll trust God in everything. after all, I am a follower of Christ today, even after all the gruesome scenes and twisted fictions...
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