May I find rest in the Lord

"Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened,
and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.]"
-Matthew 11:28 (Amplified Bible)

Sometimes when u're nearing the end point, you think u could hang on and press on and give it all. Then you don't care if you die after the finish line. well, not literally la.

I once ran for my class in the 400m race. There was no one else cos the runners in class were already running in other events. I didn't expect to make it to the finals but apparently, all the good runners in other classes were already in other events as well. However, I was no match for the other competitors. I forgot all about pacing myself and just sprinted, though my sprint was more like a normal run next to the faster runners. Towards the last stretch, I so wanted to make that dash (which usually lead to all sorts of cramps which ain't pleasant) but I couldn't. I was already exhausted by then and though I continued the journey, I just couldn't go any faster.

I am no runner. But that was a good experience. I have pressed on and now it's just the last stretch left. I thought I could continue to be superwoman and just do the supernatural. But God said "no". "You're not going anywhere until you've rested and then I'll let you finish that last stretch. and you won't die. but you won't go anywhere either, until you've learnt to wait upon Me..."

"My dear child, My yoke is easy and my burden is light... Let me give you rest...."

Tearfully, I was made to rest. To put everything aside, and really rest. Thank God He knows every fibre of my body. Though I recognise not I need to stop, He knows my limits...

I just can't thank my Creator enough...

'gritted-teeth faith'

"The Old Testament prophets hold out powerful, joyful promises, in which God speaks directly to the hearts of those he loves.

...

But what response is required from the hearers of this promise? God-fearing offspring don't come from nowhere. For a paralysed nation, under the yoke of oppressors, passing on a way of life that would flourish in the far-off blessed age needed raw, gritted-teeth perseverance. Such dogged faith is something Jesus often seemed to provoke from others, and the call 'do not be afraid' again has echoes of the Gospels. We might contrue it to imply, 'You'll be fine'. But what if that's not actually true? Are we brave enough to ask for the kind of Spirit-given faith that doesn't need to be 'fine' to trust in God?"

(Matt Campbell, Encounter with God, Pentecost)

"if my people, who are called by my name,
will humble themselves and pray and seek my face
and turn from their wicked ways,
then will I hear from heaven
and will forgive their sin
and will heal their land."
-2 Chronicles 7:14

"My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"
Your face, LORD, I will seek. "
-Psalm 27:8

cq at your service...

I'm such a Martha. I really can't sit still and I need to do stuff... Be it milo, hot choc or cappa, let me serve you, please?

I thank God for bringing the Phatties to my flat tonight. I had good quality time with my BarVista, though we're really still at the "getting to know each other better" stage. 2 litres of milk gone! Bravo! :) :) :)

I cleaned up my darling BarVista and was just letting everything dry off when my dear flatmates came back from the library. After a night of studying hard out and coming back frm the cold, I was thankful I could serve them a cup of hot choc. Yes. Those ain't any normal hot choc, but the love of Christ goes in there as well~

I had felt really bad for volunteering my service at Vision, just to run off after once. Had they called me back I would haf continued, but that might become an obligation. They never called. I never went back. But there's this teeny weeny sense of guilt. Now, it just felt like God has shifted my barista ministry from Vision to 21B EB. How sweet is that? ;p

I really loved making cuppa after cuppa after cuppa. It's very bo-shiok to set up everything for just ONE cuppa. The only problem is: I need a larger steel jug. and perhaps, more mugs. God will supply the unlimited milk, coffee and choc i suppose. I just need Him to make sure I have the time, energy and most importantly, servant heart.

Coffee, anyone?

all is stripped away... and I simply come

longing just to bring, something that's of worth, that will bless Your heart...

You search much deeper within, through the way things appear, You're looking into my heart...

I coming back to the heart of worship, and it's all about YOU, it's all about You Jesus...

I'm sorry Lord for the things I've made it,

when it's all about You, it's all about You, Jesus...

This has been playing in my mind for the past couple of days... especially the part "all is stripped away"...

I've been feeling really tired, really drained... and there had been times when I felt that I just don't want to go on anymore, not because I can't, not because the Lord can't sustain me, but just because I'm that stubborn little girl, merajuking before the Lord.

"Lord, I'm tired."

"Lord, I can't go on..."

There's been countless times, when I just feel so empty after OCF. Was it because I've been totally drained and there's no more of me left?

Last night, OCF had our final meeting for this semester. It was a good night really. Turn-up was more than usual. More than I had expected, considering it's nearing the exams. Ppl were really generous with their praises for how OCF has been doing so far. I thank God that these ppl have enjoyed OCF but I wonder... what does the Lord say?

It's hard to keep on working, yet your goal is not a tangible product. Your "success" is not measurable and you don't really know how you're faring... I guess it's even harder when you don't know what you're really aiming for and it's always not good enough, and there's always more you could have done to make it better...

It's just the final week. Press On! Many ppl tell me I should be thankful that I finish on thurs. I know. I want to be. But somehow I see the next stretch, with higher mountains, deeper valleys. I'm not too keen eh.

Had the Phatties over for our lifegrp meeting. I really enjoyed the guitar-worship thing. It just brought me back to the living room of Pastor Tony's house where College CG meets every Fri. Though it felt not as familiar as before when I went back, but I remember the fragrance of community. As we worshipped and had a time of prayer and allowing the Lord to speak to us, I just felt that sense of "it's not about you, it's about Him"...

Perhaps He's wanting me to strip everything away and look upon Him. Perhaps it's time to re-focus and re-align, it's been too much about myself, my tiredness, my studies, my...

He reminded me that the chief end of me, is to praise Him and to enjoy Him forever. I am made for Him. He loves me. This ministry is not mine but it comes from Him and therefore I do not lose heart. It's HIS ministry. And Jesus has given us life - life in abundance in Him! We have the spirit of Sonship, and we cry out "Abba Father" and His promises for us are "yes" and "amen"!

Lord, can You please bring me back to the heart of worship?

dream come true...

Breville BarVista

Italian 15 bar pump

Thermoblock heating system

Advanced crema system

Auto Purge System

Pre-brew function




God really knows the desires of my heart eh.

Barista for Christ - serving Christ by serving you...

;p

Insomniac cq?

wat's worse than laying on bed for hours, having felt really exhausted for the whole day in a week that's been real tiring, with a headache that's been haunting you for the whole evening and night, yet you can't sleep on your comfy bed, even with soothing music on? especially when you're someone that loves to sleep?

then u fell asleep. for less than 30 minutes. u got woken up by little noises that seemed to have been amplified just for tonight. and u realised ur stomach's growling and u groan because it's such a bad time to eat? u really wanted to have a good night's sleep so that u can battle your assignments because the earlier you finish ur assignmentSS the earlier u can start preparing for your exam which is in less than a week's time? u sat up, wishing for a cuppa milo, but as u make ur way to the kitchen, ur headache just seems to crescendo?

ugh. blog therapy is apparently not working. oh wait, i am yawning a bit more now so maybe it might work...

"It is vain for you to rise up early, To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows;
For so He gives His beloved sleep. " -Psalm 127:2

There's no milo. Coffee is hardly my answer. Perhaps it's time to give in and reach out for that panadol tt's been calling out my name the whole night.

Can't believe this is happening to me eh. I've always thought I sleep fine. But come to think of it, I haven't really been for a while now. A looooong while... it's always been compromised either in quantity or quality, and i suspect, for most times, it's both.

Please uphold me in prayers...

1 month!

yes. it's been 1 month that i've been blogging now. just felt compelled to leave a short post here. No, i haven't lost the ooooomph to blog (dun worry fellow bloggers!), just that i'm waiting for ppl to pass me photos so that i can load them up and i've been real tired these couple of days. ugh. yawned til i cried yest. sometimes i wonder, maybe i deserve it eh.

50 blogs in 31 days. how hard out is that? never thought that would come from me...

i've had a real blessed birthday. updates later (when photos come in). each year i thought i've had the best birthday i can possibly have. But God amazes me with how it just gets better each year. It's like you thought you've experienced the goodness of God, but He just amazes u with how much more, immeasurably more than u can ask or imagine, He is able to give us. Don't settle for the teasers, continue pursuing the very best that God has for you...

The post-birthday thought I have is how well-loved I am by everyone around me. Really appreciate it guys! From flatmates, to classmate, to Phatties mates, to wonderful mates, prayer mates, ocf mates, u name it. MY FAMILY TOO. and mates from all around the world! To be honest, I was real tired on that day eh. I din really sleep well and by afternoon i was already tired (sign of old age? oh no!). SO after my day ended i just collapsed into bed... and the next day, i just at my desk and felt that i really need to let every thought that has been invested in the cards, the gifts, all the little gestures, sink in. and even now, as i list the many ppl tt have remembered the day I was brought into this world (not that many years ago), the feeling of being loved is just... wow. Because, it goes beyond just that. When I strip away all the people, all the things, one by one, I see God, my Father in Heaven and His strong, flaming, powerful love for me. I probably haven't got the best vocab here, but it's something I can't describe in words eh... I thank God for His reminder to me, which I reckon we all need every so often (so go on with your acts of random kindness!).

How do u say "no" to a God that loves u so fiercely?

That, is a scary thought.

I think I'll dwell in the love bit first, and think about that question after next week.