Japanese War Literature

this is one of the courses I'm undertaking this semester.

先生 gave an overview of post-war Japan to paint the contextual background for "Bones" by Hayashi Fumiko. one of the things talked about today was how censorship as exercised by the occupation forces after the defeat had deprived the Japanese ppl expressions of guilt and grief. Being able to talk/write about the grief, the guilt, the hunger etc... is a form of therapy denied to them over 7 years of occupation.

Once again, I'm reminded of how essential it is for us to work through the emotions in us. There are bound to be grief, sorrow etc as we journey along this long long road called life. Keeping busy, surrounding oneself with people so that one doesn't think too much isn't a form of dealing with one's emotions. it's escapism. the imagery of a moving train wouldn't go away. Sometimes, events in life kinda prompt one to alight the train so that one can deal with watever issue is at hand. But because this train doesn't really wait around, it just keeps going on, maybe one feels that it's sufficient to just brush things aside, not think about it, and continue the journey on this train. But like Michiko in "Bones", there were moments when she couldn't suppress the tears and memories of her dead husband kept coming back. There's no proper closure. It's left hanging and it comes back to haunt every now and then.

Much as one is reluctant to miss out by alighting, perhaps it's wiser to sort things out before one finds a mushy mess of unfathomable emotions weighing one down even as one tries to keep up with the speed of the train. Be it the 新幹線、特急 or just 普通 trains, it's ok to alight, take some time off, and wait for the next one.

Maybe that's why I felt such a sense of betrayal by the fallen sakuras. They didn't wait for me.