thoughts on funeral and death

I think it's my first time attending a wake and a funeral. Takako-san's father had just gone home to be with the Lord. I don't rmb having met him before but Takako-san is a dear friend from church.

Having just had a class on Buddhist funerals in Japan (in a Buddhist temple with a priest giving us the details), I wasn't sure what to expect. I mean, surely a Buddhist funeral is different from a Christian funeral. Especially when Kitahara-Sensei said that what surprised her most when she first attended a Christian funeral was how she could understand everything the pastor said. The Buddhist chants/prayers are in ancient Japanese language unintelligible to most.

At the wake (I think it's the wake, it's called 前夜式), I went "huh?" in my mind when pastor started the service and said "賛美しましょう" ("Let's praise"). The "huh?" contained a sense of contradiction that arose from my inability to reconcile grief and "賛美しましょう". The feeling was short-lived. That contradictory feeling was immediately challenged. We don't praise God only when we're happy and joyous. We praise Him because He deserves to be praised. And it depends not on our circumstances. Although I didn't understand very much of what Takako-san said, I can sense her hope in our Lord.

At the end of the funeral service today, the cover of the coffin was removed and each person went up to place a flower on Takako-san's father. I wasn't feeling particularly emotional today but seeing the body lying in the coffin shook me up. Grief should not be buried or dismissed. It needs to be dealt with properly. What I felt was only a tiny weeny bit of what the Kasai family is going through...

Pastor John said few weeks ago that life is 100% fatal. We all die someday. This may sound silly but we never know God's timing right? For my funeral, I would like to have praise songs/hymns to be sung ("How great thou art" etc)... and how about some upbeat tunes like Chris Tomlin's "Let God Arise" (last lines: He holds the keys of life, our Lord; Death has no sting, no final word)... random picks at the moment, but u know, make it a joyous affair! praise Him for who He is! flowers... the fresh flowers today were pretty. purple, white, dark orange amidst green leaves. I want pretty flowers too... Big lilies, tulips... in bright beautiful happy colours. Red, orange, yellow, pink, purple...

I guess at the end of my journey, what I really long to hear is that "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." (2 Timothy 4:7). but of course, that will have to come from Him, the God who creates, the God who gives and takes away, the God who gives me breath, the God who sustains my every moment of life... I may not know how long/short the race ahead of me is, but I pray that I may finish it well.