"why are u still going for classes?"

my flatmate posed this question to me in a very matter of fact manner when she saw me working on my assignment.

"you mean you wouldn't?"

"of course not"

hmmmmm.

i've been thinking of stopping for a while now. yet i press on and tell myself that whatever little i learn, i still learn, tt's if i learn at all. the assignments are a way to consolidate what i absorb. but of course when there's no comprehensible input in class, then i'm on my own to decipher the grammar points etc so that i can work on my assignments. it's a good thing ain't it?

"everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial"

in this case, every good thing isn't necessarily beneficial. especially when there are possibly more pressing concerns tt need time to mull over and ponder about. am i robbing these impt matters of the time they're rightfully due?

or maybe... if one pokes through those layers of reasoning... one finds the hidden idolatry of busyness?

i wish things are more straightforward.