there's a time for everything

i'm not good with goodbyes. i wonder why it's "good"-bye in the first place. unless of course u're wishing d other person good...

i rmb on graduation day for primary sch, mum came with me. i din allow us to linger any extra second. just took her hand and left once everything ended. i din think i could handle it. i was only 12.

Even before that, I cried my heart out when I made the move from my nanny's place back home. Age? 6.

since then i've got quite some teary farewells. it's amazing how God put ppl into your life and they become a part of you. it had hurt heaps but I've learnt to see farewells in a different light. Even through tears I appreciate the footprints these ppl leave in my life. A very impt person in my life said to me "I'll see you again, the last one being in heaven, but I hope I see you before then". I've always played this in my head as I bid farewell to someone I know I won't see for very long. But a few days ago, when I played tt in my mind, NOT KNOWING if that will stand true, I was dumbstruck. All the missed opportunities... I can only remind myself that God is bigger than my shortcomings and even when I hadn't made good use of d opportunities He's given me, He is Sovereign enough to have a solution to that.

I am a sentimentalist. As i said a few more goodbyes each year, short-term or long-term (prayerfully none eternal), I've come to see how I'll never appreciate the present as much. It's only when u look back retrospectively tt u realise how much this person means to you and how u're really gonna cherish the little things. With that I think farewells are a good thing. Absence makes the heart fonder. When u no longer have something, the more u'll realise how much tt sthing (ok, that someone) means to you. It's definitely better to take leave on a good note rather than be left with an out of pitch melody in memory. But then again, even when the melody is out of pitch, one can always work towards a beautiful harmony again. It takes 2 to harmonize.

Have you noticed how even if you meet again, it's really never the same again? well, except the exceptionals, which are exceptionally few, if they ever come along at all. Yea, ppl come and go. There's always a time to move on. You meet new ppl etc etc etc. But sometimes what you have in your hands is so good you don't really wanna let go. I admit tt's a fear I have. But I have to learn to trust God that as He moves me along this journey, He knows wat's going on and He knows what's best for me (& d other person too i guess).

Sigh. I dun really know what I'm trying to say here. Perhaps we're just too busy. We hecticise our schedules too much and we miss out on really appreciating d ppl ard us. It's not all abt work eh? It's abt lives. Take a moment, slow down, and let the person know how much they mean to you. At least when you look back retrospectively, you know you've tried not to take them for granted. Or when u bid goodbye, really make the time and effort eh. Not in a rushed manner, nor in a "social obligation" mentality. Each footprint is beautifully crafted. Cherish them.

Forgive me if I rush off without giving d opportunity for a proper farewell. Sometimes, I'd rather not go through the heart-wrenching moments... Well, it's not you. I'm just not good with goodbyes.