home sweet home?

I've never felt this down when the aircraft landed on Malaysian grounds. Usually I would be excited and the butterflies would dance in my stomach. Although the feeling is short-lived, there still was the initial excitement before I get pulled back down to earth again. This time, just as we were preparing to land, the cloud of darkness that enveloped Malaysia, also casted a net of its dark shadow on my heart. perhaps it has finally sunk in that I've left my safety net and from now on, I'm neither here nor there. But searching deeper, I know that I'll always be neither here nor there, til the day my Lord calls me Home.

thankfully, in His grace, I'm good. Am feeling much better today, and adapting to the differences that I had been expecting. I guess being prepared helps.

thanks for praying for me =)

adiós~

it's been a lot of farewells. I'm usually quite teary at farewells and I was never good at saying goodbyes. However, this round of calmness in me surprised even myself!

Have I become emotionless? Gotten so indifferent towards the heart-wrenching events of the world that my heart has turned cold?

Apart from missing radio rhema, essentials soymilk, maki mono etc... I know it's more about the people, the relationships that have made my life in Dunedin all the more richer. No tears doesn't mean u guys don't matter to me.

in no particular order:

OCF:
committee 06-07 with our staffworkers Nick and Andrew
i rmb how God was challenging me to prepare the next Joshua and Joshua generation.
my staffworkers - Andrew and Nick, both of whom have invested a lot of time, energy and prayers in me.
Greg Hughson, our most supportive chaplain.

my little sister...

WWJD homegroup:

the gals. (not in photo: Joyce)

the boys.

and the baby =p

couples i hinted to tie the knot before i turn 25:





awesome friends:

from WWJD

right from the start of City Col days~

a very special kiwi friend indeed =)

this "list" is by no means exhaustive. it's hard to catch everyone in the last week and I don't usu take photos. Moreover my camera died on me. If your face is not here, it means that u have yet to send me the photos taken on ur camera! ;p

as i thought about it, i realised that the reason why I'm ok and not all emo this time round, is simply because it doesn't feel like I've left Dunedin at all! it's like one of those hols tt i head up to Auckland, and then perhaps back to Malaysia for longer period hols. Perhaps it hasn't sunk in that I won't see u guys for 1.5 yrs at least. Some, perhaps longer, perhaps never. But more imptly, it's the assurance in my heart that I know you guys are still standing with me and are supporting me as fellow pilgrims on this journey.

Thanks for being a big part of my life in Dunedin and thanks for the ongoing support. Will be back for graduation. Will u still be here? =)

the time has come

passport finally came back today! =)

i think i am quite ready to leave. OCF is in good Hands, done my last BS with homegroup, shifted most stuff to P&P's, distributed other stuff... yea, there's some little loose ends to tie up tmr, but things are certainly falling into place and I know that my time here is up.

yes, I'm quite ready to go.

I will miss people (OCF, WWJD, church, uni, special ppl etc etc etc), radio rhema, sanitarium's essential soymilk. I will miss life in Dunedin. haven't really gotten emo yet but i think that will come too, either while I'm in Dunedin, or post-NZ when I'm back home.

been brought to the passage of Paul's farewell to the Ephesian Elders in Acts 20 several times. It's really humbling checking against such a rod as Apostle Paul (and I know I am nowhere near). But I pray that one day I may too say that "I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace." (Acts 20:24)

all for His glory.

grace

I am painfully aware of my weaknesses. But it is when He highlights my weaknesses, that His grace in still choosing to use me is amplified.

It's in times when you're irked by yourself, that He says "It's ok, I still love you"

In times when you think you're good for nothing, He says "It's ok, in Me you can do everything"

2 different attempts to define grace:

For a poor person in huge debts,

a) a rich businessman comes, clothed and fed the poor person and gave him a job. the poor man will then have to earn enough to pay off his own debts.

b) a rich prince came and married the poor person and paid of all his debts.Then the King of all heaven and earth comes and praises the poor man for all the good things he had done. the poor man stammered "i haven't done anything..." the King replied "but your husband has"

Grace. my Prince came and married me, took away all my debts, washed away all my iniquities, and empowers me for the journey ahead, granting me the use of His Name. Grace.

This illustration stood out in my mind since the day I heard it. Reminded me of my baptism, and the covenant between me and my Lord.

the boundless love, the grace that far exceeds what our minds can grasp...

all praise and glory and thanksgiving unto God!

packing in process

ugh. the nightmare of every year has started. well, it supposedly started 2 weeks ago but i kinda put it off assuming i have heaps of time and there ain't tt much stuff left.

packing is a process that needs discipline. 2 weeks later and i'm still so unprepared to leave! one reason i was putting things off was cos i din wanna live out of a suitcase. or maybe 2 in this case. but it seems like the more i pack the more there is to pack! it's hard to decide wat to do with all the stuff i have accumulated over the years. selling them off would be economical. but of course, being me, i'm just distributing them to ppl nearest to me.

i think the main reason it's so hard to pack is cos the future remains unknown. ah well~

at least i'm packing just for me. imagine packing for ur family, with 3 or 4 kids running around, and having to pack for ALL of them.

*faints*

Ecuadorian Night @ OCF

*smiles*

the evening began with thankfulness in the air. as we shared about our day, our week, the grace and mercy of our Father upon us unfolded before our eyes. Doesn't matter if everything else seems to be going out of control, everything is still within His Sovereignty. =) God is good.

Ruth and Josue, TSCF and CECE staffworkers in Ecuador were with us tonight. God certainly multiplied our attempts to make most things Ecuadorian. and of course, as always, the food got the most attention. It was interesting preparing stuff from recipes, not knowing how they're supposed to look like, taste like. Ecuadorian enough or not, they were well received =)

I've had quite a few good "ppl time" today. Quoting from Tim Chester's "Busy Christian's Guide to Busyness" on the topic of "time for myself":

"True personhood is found through relationships... We don't find ourselves on our own. We find ourselves through relationships."

"We were made to serve God and other people. We find ourselves not through "me-time", but through service. Our priority is to love God and our neighbours... We find ourselves by losing our lives."

One thing I've noted is no matter how dead tired I am, God has always given me energy when I'm around people. He's faithfully sustained me when I'm with ppl, and it's only when I'm finally on my own again, that I crash.

Time to crash. Buenos noches!

Homegroup @ Robbie Burns~

I still wish they have the saxophone. but nevertheless it was really enjoyable. good company, good ambience. Cointreau lemonade.

was told there's a study which showed that females taking up to 4 cups of coffee a day have improved short term memory. voila! the end to my misery?

hmmmmm. not quite. feeling much better today. wouldn't wanna waste all that splitting headaches, lethargy, energyless days to plunge right into that sorta reliance again.

with the end of today, it's 10 more days to go.

10 more days.